Probably more than anyone needs to know...

 Guinness is good for you... but so is exercise and good food.

I need to make a change... I know, I know... it's one of those things that we always say... but seriously, you have to pick a day to do it... and today is just as good as any day.

I haven't been getting "as drunk" as I used to a few years ago.  (OK, so as I have a few months ago.)  (OK, hush little voice... as I have a few weeks ago...)  And I feel like I've been eating a little bit better (very little bit).  But things must change...

I have an appointment later today with a trainer at the gym.  I "joined" last week (my company offers membership, which rocks big-time)... but haven't been able to get myself to actually go there.  This meeting with the trainer will force me in to the place.  Also, several coworkers play racket-ball every Thursday night, so I'm going to play with them.

I took a look back to when I first started this journal a couple years ago and I was just starting at the gym back then.  My second entry was about joining the gym... that was Sept 2004 -- almost exactly three years ago.  Good lord!!  I've put on probably 50 or more pounds since then.

Whats also funny: my comments about the locker room.  Back then one of the reasons for joining was the "eye candy" in the locker room... now, that's kind of one of the reasons I'm nervous about starting back up.  I haven't been there in so long I'm afraid I might "get caught looking" or "get inappropriately stiff" or something there... I forget "how to act" in the locker room... plus not being single, I almost feel like I'm cheating or something... I know, it all sounds so stupid when I put it in words, doesn't it... *sigh* but that's the feelings in my crazy little noggin.

Well... wish me luck... I hope my blood pressure isn't so high that the trainer refuses to work with me.  Last time that happened and I felt all embarrassed and upset... she told me I needed a doctor's note.  (I tried to find that entry, but can't locate it right now.)  I feel like if she does that again this year I may end up just leaving and not going back.

Christmas Eve was spent wrapping gifts all day... Barry worked on putting the Bowflex together. (or "Blowfex" as we call it now because of how hard it was to put together. I could hear cursing and banging coming from the room... so I stayed far out of Barry's way while he worked on it.) I ran and did a tiny bit of last-minute shopping too... but not much.

Christmas Eve evening we went to Barry's mom's house for a gathering there. Ken and Don went with us... met some more of Barry's family (aunts/uncles) that I had never met before and everyone ate, drank, and was merry. It was very nice... she had a big buffet spread of all kinds of foods and we drank and played liar's dice late into the evening. I even got a gift from his mom... I didn't expect anything... it was very sweet of her. It was a very different "Christmas Eve" dinner than I'm used too... I grew up with a traditional Polish / Catholic dinner at Grandmom's (no meat: fish, potatoes, & pierogies) followed by midnight mass. Quite different, eh? LOL!

After we all had plenty of Christmas "cheer" (aka Barry was in no shape to drive), Ken, Don, Barry, and I went to Diamonz on our way home to toast to Christmas. We got there at 11:55 and they closed at Midnight... luckily Barry knew the bartender and sweet-talked him into letting us get one round. (I tipped him well... :) Then we came home and all exchanged gifts. It was fun... unwrapped each other too -- a little teasing / flirting going on -- nothing "happened", just fun. Finally all passed out into bed around 2 or so. (New icon is from a picture we took that night... "me as drunk santa" I think I'll call it.)

Christmas morning I awoke at 7:30ish eager to get to my sister's to open presents. Barry wasn't moving though and was grumpy... I tried to be very gentle (figuring he had a hangover) but he wouldn't budge. I was afraid Christmas was going to be cancelled... but he finally started moving when my sister called at 8:45 to see where we were. We finally made it over at about 10:30... my poor sister and mom -- I'm sure it was just eating them up that they had to wait so long to open gifts. *giggle* *sigh*

Gift exchange with my family was great -- lots and lots of presents all around. We have a tradition of going around one gift at a time, youngest to oldest. It takes a lot of time, but lets everyone enjoy the gifts. I don't remember all the gifts... the first few that come to mind: a power-hand-sander, omaha steaks, phaltzgraff dishes, and madonna's new CD. I think Barry was a little shocked at how many gifts he had... I had warned him that my mom and dad make sure that everyone has an equal amount of gifts (so no one gets jealous). :)

After the gift exchange, we sat around and played with our new toys... including setting up my mom's portable printer that we got her. Then we watched a movie and almost fell asleep on the couch when Chris' parents arrived and there was another round of gifts, then my Aunt Maureen arrived and there was another round of gifts. Then we all ate huge dinner of lasagna, ham, mac-and-cheese, potatoes, etc. Yum! Followed by desert. Barry and I barely were able to roll out the door after all that... but managed to make our way home to collapse.

Quite a holiday it was! And although the major holiday stuff is over, there still seems to be a lot to do -- mainly getting the house ready now that we will be able to concentrate on it. Monday, Barry spent the entire day with the Blowfex and almost got it all together. I went shopping with Ken to find a "pantry" for our kitchen so that Barry and I can get food... we also got some shelves for the closet and other things for the house... I think that within the next two weeks we are really going to be able to concentrate on getting this house "unpacked"... Which we really need to do, since the 14th is the big party. A quick glance at the calendar shows nothing for the next two weeks -- so that's a good thing... Barry and I need to calm down a bit and really spend some time on "us".

This morning, Chubby arrived and started work on the basement bathroom. He's down there now banging and sawing away. I can't wait for that to be done... Don't know what we're going to do with all the stuff in the house... but things are getting there slowly. It'll be great once the bathroom is finished so we have one less thing to worry about... at least we don't have to actually do any "work" to build the bathroom.

Thousands of dollars later, and we have a dining room with 6 (of 7) huge boxes in it... and a 50 page book of Bowflex assembly instructions... Oh what fun... and it's 6 of 7 because one of them didn't make it yet... "opened in transit" which delayed its arrival... so I'm working at home again this morning until UPS gets here again today. Hopefully soon, as I kind of miss the office and feel like I should be there.

I had to fast last night for blood-work... I had to go to the doctor this morning at 9am to give some blood (cholesterol and HIV test)... fasting for just overnight and I was feeling all "OMG I have to eat"... I stopped at McD's right after the blood letting... partially a reward for myself at fasting for 12 hours... partially a reward for the "agony" of the blood letting... Needless to say, I guess perhaps I don't have the personal strength to fast (or diet even) for a day like I thought I did.

I'm planning to go to First Thursday tonight. I'm not planning to stay late (probably just 7 to 9 or so)...
Barry is going out with a friend... I'm kind of sad that he didn't invite me along with them. (Jealous? OK, maybe I guess a little, but not excessively, it's more that he's going without even thinking of inviting me, which makes me wonder if he's covering something, which is totally unwarranted, so I know it's just "normal" feelings of insecurity I guess).

Friday, Barry and I are planning a trip to IKEA. Well, OK, so it's my idea and plans... even if it is to get him sheets (heard a commercial that they have a linen sale this weekend: 400-thread-count Queen/King for $40)... but I also just want to do IKEA as it has been ages. Saturday we are going to help Robyn move... then we both took Monday off so that we could stay at camp Sunday and Monday to repair the roof of the porch (which has been leaking and rotting all summer).

Can't frigg'n wait to get into the office and get my Dell too! Poor thing has been sitting there unopened all day yesterday and last night. I guess I do have more strength than I thought because I've been able to keep myself from going into the office and getting it so that I could be here for the Bowflex arrival. Good god will UPS get here already!!

It's amazing how fast a mood can change. I was feeling fine and then WHAM...

It's stupid really... which is what makes me even more moody -- how can I be so moody over such a stupid thing...

*sigh*

I went to have a free meeting with the Physical Trainer at the gym (part of my new membership). She took one look at me, gave me a blood pressure test, and said, "Sorry I can't do anything with you until you've seen a doctor and get a written permission slip. You're blood pressure is 148/98, and anything over 140/90 I can't talk to you."

First off, I feel like I'm a child, who needs permission from their mom. Frigg'n christ, I'm 31, and if I want to work out, frigg'n show me what I want to do... I'm old enough to know if I feel OK or not.

OK, so yes, it is probably for my own good -- but I still feel embarrassed. I feel like never stepping foot in the gym again. Whatever... I know I'm being self-conscious.

So will I make an appt with the doctor? I don't know -- I've been meaning to for quite some time now, just cause I haven't been to one in at least 4 years. But who knows... I'll probably procrastinate a few more weeks. :(

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I feel like either going to sleep, or getting completely wasted. I know that getting wasted is not the "right" answer... so it looks like an early bedtime for me... perhaps I'll just surf the web for a few hours...