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Being without the Internet for almost three days, I realize more how much I'm "addicted" to LJ... I kept catching myself saying, "Uuu... that's one for the journal." LOL... plus, after just spending two hours catching-up on emails and interesting journals and links/stories from those journals, I feel this need to fend off sleep to update my own journal.

Short version: friends, fun, socializing, dining, train ride, foliage, camping, hosting, drag, questioning.

Long Version:

Friday night I got to spend some fun times out with friends... With camp, I haven't been able to go out much on Friday nights (or weekends)... it felt good (as it usually does) to hang out with some really great people Friday night. It started with a NET Dine-Out dinner at Mangia's (Italian)... It was good except for the bill-time... someone made a calculation mistake and/or someone didn't put in what they were supposed too. Why is it that when more than two or three people go out together, some people get bill-itis and can't add up what they eat or put in? Anyway... after getting some extra money from some people (who shouldn't have put in more, including myself), we were able to pay the bill and no one had to do dishes. We had 20 people! What a very successful (and fun) event. Afterwards, several of us moved on to Stooges (a bar) to meet some other friends and continue the evening.

Kim came down, and I finally got to catch-up with her after not seeing her for over three weeks. Well... that was the theory anyway... I feel bad, I really didn't get to spend much time with her... we exchanged a few brief stories, had a little simpatico, shared a bunch of laughs... but no quality one-on-one... I told her about my LJ (hi Kim *wink*) and she's caught up on my life to an extent through it... but she and I definitely need to get together and kibitz.

I stayed at Stooges until about 1:30am... then drove up to camp. I got to my camper about 2am. All was quiet at camp and I decided to just sleep (especially as I needed to be awake by 8:30am).

Saturday morning, I went to join other NET members for the Fall Foliage Train Ride in Jim Thorpe. It was a lot of fun. We had ten people go. Shortly after the train was underway, all ten of us made are way to the front of the train and hung out in the "open-air" car. The weather was absolutely amazing (sunny and mid 70's) -- perfect weather for a fall foliage train ride! We all chitchatted and enjoyed the trip; scenery was nice (but nothing super spectacular except for the trestle crossing part: 160-some feet above the creek at the middle and you could see foliage for miles). The company is what really made the trip.

At one point, I made a comment like, "Where's the cameras? This is just like an MTV Real World 'Lehigh Valley'... we have 4 guys, 6 girls... We're all laughing and having a good time talking about all kinds of miscellaneous stuff... all we need is a hot tub. We even have me as the 'token gay guy' -- every Real World has to have a token gay person."

Lunch with everyone (and had a nice chat with the three girls I sat with: Janet, Nichole, & Amber), then some art, antique, and kitsch shopping. Then I went back to camp.

Upon arrival back at camp, Ken asked me if I would be willing to help him host the "Trivia Contest" that night at the clubhouse. And if I'd be willing to dress up as Heidi Ho (and him as Kandy Treat) and we'd host in drag. I, of course, said yes (perhaps a bit too willingly *giggle*). Heidi and Kandy dressed in pretty formal attire for the occasion: black skirts and shimmery blouse/jacket with black high-healed boots. We also got Bobby to dress-up as the "Fall Foliage Fairy Princess" and he kept score. I think we sufficiently entertained the crowd and kept the game moving. I think next time we need to work out a better game though, as reading the cards and only having one microphone was a bit "slow" for the audience I think. Thank goodness Ken and Bobby really kept the one-liners and antics flowing. (I had a few good lines myself... but definitely couldn't have done it on my own. I'm sure with time and performance and feeling more comfortable, the "chatting with the audience " will come a bit easier.)

Of other interest: I'm still new to this whole drag thing and working out with myself how much I want to get into it. As Joe was putting on my make-up he was again commenting on how good I looked and how much I should "really do this" (meaning I should start performing professionally or something)... He said I have great skin and look great. Then he put the blond wig on me, and they curled the hair a bit, and stood back (with that proud *lets look at our creation* type of look) -- and they kind of gasped a little and said, "Wow!" Well... this whole time I hadn't been able to see myself, so I ran over to the mirror and said, "Holy Shit!" ... a decent pause ... and then "oh... my... gawd..." They were laughing and saying "See!" ... I have to admit I was a bit shocked, as there was this girl with wide blue eyes, blue eye shadow, brown lipstick, a mole, and blond hair staring out of the mirror at me. Heidi Ho was in rare form.

Again, I'm not so sure about how I want to take all this... I love entertaining people, and I love the attention I get, and I love the rush of confidence that I feel. But... but... why IS there a "but"?? ... Am I afraid that doing drag is going to label me as a cross-dresser? I think that must be it... I don't do it because I like wearing women's clothing... I dress in drag because of the things that I opened this paragraph with... If I could dress in leather and feel the same way, I would (and, actually, next weekend I will be as it is "leather" weekend *yum*, but I digress). Will I loose what masculinity I do have by dressing in drag? That "butchness" that I find so attractive and want to be? Well, if anything, so far dressing in drag has only increased my aggressiveness and confidence, and those characteristics are carrying over into my "non-drag" life (although so are some of the effeminate things like handwaves and floppy wrists, eek).

It's late and this entry is getting very long... so let me just leave it at that... we'll just have to see where things go from here, I'm not going to try and predict anything anymore.

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Paul

January 2009

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