savage25: (Fall)
2007-10-31 04:36 pm

Happy Halloween

I've never really been a big fan of Halloween.

As a kid growing up in a rural community, "Trick or Treating" consisted of putting on a costume, piling in the car, and being driven to relatives' houses. Once there, you had to do a song or joke before you'd get a piece of candy... followed by "visiting" and kissing grandma... then piling in the car and driving around more. At the end of the night, all that "work" got you about 10 pieces of candy and a buck or two.

I dreaded it.

Middle-School / High-School years brought some actual trick-or-treating once I was old enough to be allowed to walk around the nearby "town" with our cousin. It was amazing to me to knock on a door and get candy without having to have to do anything for it. There were still a few houses in the neighborhood that wanted the kids to tell a joke or sing a song or something... but not many.

Nowadays, I wonder if the kids even think about having a joke or something? It also irritates me that communities set days and times when the kids can walk around. What ever happened to Halloween Night being "the" night? And kids drive from community to community depending on what nights they each have "scheduled" for "Beggar's Night". *sheez!*

Oh... and the fact that scary movies and gore totally skeeve-me too doesn't help the fact that this is probably my least favorite "major holiday".

A friend at camp this weekend called Halloween a "Gay High-Holy-Day"... why? when did it become that? I don't think I'll ever conform to that theory. Perhaps when I was in high-school I could dress up like a girl and get away with it, and that was probably the best part... but does that really constitute it as a great "gay" day? If anything, it just makes it harder to spot the possibilities. [possible boyfriends, in-case that wasn't clear]

Oh well... I have to give Halloween some credit, as it does fall during my favorite time of the year [Autumn]... but honestly, Thanksgiving wins the title of "Fall Holiday" for me.



In other news, I coordinated my work team's "Pumpkin Carving / Decorating" contest and our team tied for first-place in the department. Let me tell you, there were some really great ideas. I think ours won because of how it tied-in a little bit of all our team members... that and the blood (aka shock-value). I'm waiting on a picture of it... but it was a pumpkin with a mean face, and an arm sticking out of it's mouth. The arm was on a bloody keyboard with a mouse eating it's thumb. Then we put things around it to represent the different members of our team.

I didn't dress-up in costume. I almost came in as "Heidi Ho"... It wasn't even that I was afraid of comments or anything... seriously, I think people would have loved it... but in all seriousness, I just didn't want people at work calling me "Heidi" for the rest of my days here. It would be one of those things that people would think was "cute" for years and I would think was "annoying" after ten minutes...
savage25: (Feel Like a Nut)
2007-10-26 11:10 am
Entry tags:

Friday Funnies

Two funny videos I just felt I had to share for this [ sleepy | dreary | quiet ] Friday...




Achmed The Terrorist - Watch more free videos
savage25: (Resting)
2007-10-08 08:43 pm
Entry tags:

Colds Blow...

Don't get a cold... it blows! (Pun intended... hehehe) *cough, sniffle* *sigh*

Posted using TxtLJ
savage25: (Contemplative)
2007-10-05 07:20 pm
Entry tags:

Straight Ponderings...

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be straight. 
 
Posted using TxtLJ
savage25: (Default)
2007-10-04 11:15 am
Entry tags:

Video Games...

My response to a posting by [livejournal.com profile] bearpawly about video games brought up a lot of thoughts / memories / emotions in me...

I never really "got into" video games... I mean, yeah, I played them, but never really had a desire to own them and spend a lot of time on them. This carries through to today -- I have very little desire for a Wii or PS3 or anything like that. At-most, I would want it in the same way I'd want a board game -- something to play in a social situation. So I can't justify the cost of it for a rare party where people might want to play.

Back-in-the-day, I enjoyed tinkering with the text-based "adventure" games... but what intrigued me most about them was not the quest itself, but "how" it was done... the way the computer could "understand English" really captured my interest. So much so that I hacked one down and figured out how it worked and wrote a small one myself to prove (to myself) that I could do it.

The interactive-world games intrigued me too... but I couldn't really get-into them, mainly because I wasn't good at them, and that frustrated me. I'm kinda thankful that I wasn't too good at them and didn't want to spend the time in them... because if I had, I may NEVER have left the computer lab in college. There was this text-based multi-player game back before the World Wide Web became what it is... (back when "email" was "amazing"...) there were three or four people in the computer lab ALL THE TIME and occasionally you would hear one yell out to the other about some fantastic sword or kill he had just done or something like that. I just used to roll my eyes. Who knew that those multi-player games would morph into the graphically intense and exciting "worlds" of today.

They still intrigue me immensely... mainly still about "how they do it"... but, honestly, they also scare me a little. I guess I saw one too many "SciFi" or "Outer-Limits" or "Matrix" type shows where the world sinks into a truly "virtual world" and no one leaves the house or even remembers what human contact is like.

I often wonder what some of the kids today would do without their little handheld GameBoys and fancy games at home... "go outside? see the sun? talk to people?" OMG, what a concept? I wonder if the future president of the United States is out there right now playing "Mortal Kombat" or "Grand Theft Auto" and is she/he thinking that's what life is really like?
savage25: (Default)
2007-10-02 04:44 pm
Entry tags:

Mardi Gras... Here I come...

Oh yeah baby!  Just purchased my flight tickets to Mardi Gras 2008!

I had said in the past that I probably wouldn't ever get the chance to go back to Mardi Gras... but...
*dreams of* good times, New Orleans, atmosphere, friends, shopping, food, parades, gala balls, the boas and frill, the hurricanes, beignets...  
Just something about it all that keeps drawing me back... 

Just four months... whoo hoo!  Can't wait...
savage25: (Beer)
2007-10-01 10:54 am
Entry tags:

Changes... Must... Happen...

 Guinness is good for you... but so is exercise and good food.

I need to make a change... I know, I know... it's one of those things that we always say... but seriously, you have to pick a day to do it... and today is just as good as any day.

I haven't been getting "as drunk" as I used to a few years ago.  (OK, so as I have a few months ago.)  (OK, hush little voice... as I have a few weeks ago...)  And I feel like I've been eating a little bit better (very little bit).  But things must change...

I have an appointment later today with a trainer at the gym.  I "joined" last week (my company offers membership, which rocks big-time)... but haven't been able to get myself to actually go there.  This meeting with the trainer will force me in to the place.  Also, several coworkers play racket-ball every Thursday night, so I'm going to play with them.

I took a look back to when I first started this journal a couple years ago and I was just starting at the gym back then.  My second entry was about joining the gym... that was Sept 2004 -- almost exactly three years ago.  Good lord!!  I've put on probably 50 or more pounds since then.

Whats also funny: my comments about the locker room.  Back then one of the reasons for joining was the "eye candy" in the locker room... now, that's kind of one of the reasons I'm nervous about starting back up.  I haven't been there in so long I'm afraid I might "get caught looking" or "get inappropriately stiff" or something there... I forget "how to act" in the locker room... plus not being single, I almost feel like I'm cheating or something... I know, it all sounds so stupid when I put it in words, doesn't it... *sigh* but that's the feelings in my crazy little noggin.

Well... wish me luck... I hope my blood pressure isn't so high that the trainer refuses to work with me.  Last time that happened and I felt all embarrassed and upset... she told me I needed a doctor's note.  (I tried to find that entry, but can't locate it right now.)  I feel like if she does that again this year I may end up just leaving and not going back.
savage25: (Kilt)
2007-09-30 02:20 pm

I <3 Irish Boys...

OMG... so I wore my "I *heart* Irish Boys" t-shirt to the celtic festival yesterday... what an experience!  It was great... so many people do this double-take when they see it.

I had (at-least) four people take my picture -- two of which I saw them taking with their cell phones (without asking, but I was OK with it)... another one of them, this really cute college-aged(?) guy came up to me and asked if he could take my picture with his friend.  I was a bit uncomfortable, but of-course I said yes.  I was uncomfortable because about five minutes earlier I had this guy come up to me and make a point to read the shirt and then mean-spirited & loudly yell back to his friends, "OMG, it does say 'Boys'... ugh!" whatever asshole.  So anyway, this other guy that wanted to take my picture seemed nice -- assumedly completely straight, but obviously not narrow, or at least good-natured about it.  He introduces me to his friend Shane(?) who was this ADORABLE Irish-looking guy... and said put your arm around him... I have to remember this tomorrow... They were drunk, and good natured about it, and they were cute... I'm such a sucker for a cutie... But what I think I want to remember most about them was as I was walking away from them, they said (without intentions of me hearing I don't think), "That's one brave man" and then they laughed -- but in a really fun way, not a "laugh-at-me" way.  That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside... and totally counteracted the asshole from a few minutes earlier.  It's interesting how life can do that... 

Anyway... wearing the shirt all day was a blast... I just kept a smile on my face and I think that's what made it OK to so many people... If I was prissy and mean, I bet I could have gotten into a fight or something about it.  But because I just smiled and laughed at it (at myself) it was a really fun time.  I loved just stopping and standing in the crowd while I would wait for my friends (in line for food or beer or something) and watching the people do little double takes or smile or sometimes even point... LOL!  I guess I do have to admit that I like the attention... *sigh* am I an attention whore?  Oh well, so be it... That shirt is definitely being worn again next year!

I do have to admit though that I only really enjoyed it when my friends were around.  When I walked away once to use the porta-pottie, I felt "alone" and a little afraid of "what if"... being in a crowd, or even with just one friend, made me feel comfortable and accepted... but being alone was really a little frightening for me.  And at the end of the night when I was tired and considering walking home alone because I just wanted to go home, I thought about the shirt and the dark alleys I would be walking through to get home, and I reconsidered and decided that I wouldn't.  Sad that I have to feel that way... practical I guess, but sad none-the-less.  Times like that when I wish gay bashing wasn't a reality.  ...  Well, I hope, that my little shirt may have helped "spread the love" a bit around Bethlehem yesterday.

PS: I'm waiting on a picture from my friend of me in the shirt... I'll post when I get it... :) 
 
savage25: (Kilt)
2007-09-29 04:23 pm
Entry tags:

Kilted Goodness...

 Yep, it's that wonderful time of the year again... when men of all shapes and sizes pull their kilts out of their closets and come down to the Celtic Classic in Bethlehem right down the street from my house.  Ahhh yes!!  Kilted goodness all around.

Not sure what it is that makes a man in a kilt SO hot... I'm sure it has something to do with the age-ol-question of "what's under there"... but it also has to do with the sexy legs... 

I went out last night with Carolyn...  It was a great night... drank lots of Hard Cider and enjoyed the views and overall "good-times" with her and some other friends.  Ended the night at the Brewworks, and I really don't remember the rest of the evening (or getting home) -- Carolyn said I spilled my beer... jeez... and they didn't cut me off? silly bartenders... I love them.  :)

I'm sitting here in my kilt... with my "I *heart* Irish Boys" t-shirt... hangover almost gone... waiting for a friend, Kim, to get here and she and I are going to go down to the festival... and repeat last night?  hehehe... 
savage25: (Default)
2007-09-27 08:46 am
Entry tags:

Pay it Forward...

For the first three people that reply to me and re-post this challenge - I will send you something groovy.

It might be something I've made, or something cool from my hidden stash of awesomeness, it might be a CD, or a DVD, a book I think you will enjoy, or something else that is awesome.

Whatever it is, I promise that I will get it to you in 365 days or less. (I will need your snail mail if you're not local).

The only thing you need to do in order to participate is to be one of the first three to reply to this, AND post this very same thing on YOUR live journal - cause its fun to give people stuff.

savage25: (Fall)
2007-09-24 12:39 am
Entry tags:

Autumn

Autumn is finally here...

Thank you god!  (Or, should I say, thank you Mother Earth!)

All I can say is that I can't wait for this summer to fall away like the changing leaves.  I'm so over it.  It was fun, it was crappy, it was exciting, it was boring... it just was...

Bring on the next season... I'm ready for something new.

savage25: (Contemplative)
2007-08-14 12:17 pm

Weaving an emotional basket...

You know what's interesting... I've been feeling like writing in my journal lately... and that usually doesn't mean much good lately... Seems like all I ever write anymore is woe and troubles... where's the whim and fun? *sigh*

Well... I've been an emotional crap-house for the past couple weeks it seems. And honestly, I think the main reasons are financial pressures and post-vacation-blues... There were three vacations back-to-back (four if you count the week of Musikfest)... which were great... but which made my financials go into red, made my work-load at work mount to heights that make me want to cry, and I have no more vacations planned for (nothing to look forward to)...

I finished "reading" Harry Potter last night... and almost broke down into tears... but then I cut the grass... the physical labor was nice. God I sound like a basket case, don't I?

OK... so that's me... emotional basket case... fun
savage25: (Contemplative)
2007-04-11 01:00 pm
Entry tags:

To Boston and back again...

Barry and I hopped in the car Saturday morning and headed up the road to Boston. About a six hour car ride... it went rather smoothly. It was nice to chat, listen to the iPod, and browse the scenery along the way. Dana (old friend of Barry's) met us with open arms and welcomed us into his apartment with a beer. We sat and chatted... then went for dinner and came back for more chatting... then we got ready and rode the train into downtown Boston to a gay bar "The Alley". It was Bear Night (every Saturday) and I guess it's a predominately "bearish" bar all the time. Got there fairly early (for GayStandardTime) before the crowds and got comfortable on a bar stool. Met and saw LOTS of great looking guys... and just enjoyed the evening tremendously. There was some kind of fund raiser going on by the leather group, but mainly we just enjoyed being out and about... and totally forgetting about the "car stuff" we had been dealing with the prior two days.

Sunday morning, we woke up and got on the rode before 9am. Ride back was just as smooth as the way up.

We went to Barry's mom's for Easter dinner on Sunday evening. It was a great time seeing his family. His mom cooked TWO HUGE hams... for 10 people... Holy cow I don't know if I've every seen so much food for a family dinner. It was really good.

My brother and his sister we in-town visiting my new niece yesterday, so we joined them for dinner on Tuesday. It was great seeing them.

The latest "long story short" with the "car stuff" is that we got the car back from the rude police on Monday and had it towed to the bodyshop yesterday morning. The front-end was completely smashed-in... like into a telephone pole or tree or something... pushed in to the radiator. Still technically drivable, but we don't trust it's condition. It was covered in mud and we estimate that they put about 100-miles on it. Currently we are awaiting the insurance appraisal... then fixing it... then getting an alarm installed.

I felt like it was "so dirty": like someone "raped our car"... which is basically what happened. I still love her, like I feel bad for her having had to go through it all. I just hope after the repair that it will be good-as-new.
savage25: (Default)
2007-04-07 01:15 am
Entry tags:

Boston... here we come...

Fun night tonight... went out on the town with Carolyn and Dawn and Greg...
OK, OK... so "out on the town" meant Brew Works and Loopers... but had some good dinner (Brew Works) and then some good martini's (Loopers) and it felt like a whole evening-out-on-the-town. And it was... considering I don't get out much anymore.

Especially nice "release" after the whole "car issues" we're going through.

So while we were sitting there tonight... SOMEHOW it came up that we should go to Boston... and I said "YES! Let's do it!" We've been saying that for some time now... and every time we say we should, something comes up. So we just called Barry's friend ("D") and said "We'll be there tomorrow"...

I'm not really sleepy... I should be... but instead I'm catching-up on some long-overdue LJ reading...

We'll be in Boston tomorrow by noon. Spending just the evening there... go out on the town there Saturday night... so if anyone in Boston reads this... text message me! (contact info on my profile) :)

Returning Sunday for dinner at Barry's mom's... so it'll be a really quick trip... but really looking forward to it.
savage25: (Default)
2007-04-06 12:53 pm
Entry tags:

Good Friday... (?)

Well... they found the car...
They actually found it last night... but didn't call us... grrr...
The insurance company actually let us know first. They called to tell Barry "Congratulations!" and he was like "What?!?" So we called the Police and sure enough they confirmed that they had found it. And that it would be held in the pound until it could be processed for fingerprints... and would most likely be released to us on Tuesday. They said there was "front-end damage" but would not (could not) elaborate any further. UGH!! It's crazy...
It was found locally... but we still have no clue as to anything about it... or who took it or why or anything... And we have no idea what we're really in-store for when it gets back.

I'm happy it's found because I feel like it will help with closure on the whole thing... but I'm not sure if I'm 100% OK with it because it may always feel "damaged" to us now... ...we'll see.
savage25: (Angry)
2007-04-05 08:59 am
Entry tags:

OMG...

OK... so I know I've been "sans-LJ" lately... and I only seem to come here to cry or bitch...

But I have to cry and bitch...

You know our new car... that we got back in January... that loverly FJ Cruiser?

Well... last night... IT WAS STOLEN! Right from our parking spot right-outside our kitchen door!

Holy crap... I don't even know how to feel.
savage25: (Default)
2007-03-04 10:07 pm
Entry tags:

My New Niece: Kylie

Kylie & Uncle Paul

Me with my new niece, Kylie. She was born yesterday evening (Mar 3rd).

She's such a cutie!!

Barry and I picked up my mom at the airport and went to the hospital to spend the afternoon with her and her mom & dad. Marea (my sister) and Chris are doing very well and very happy with their new daughter.
savage25: (Default)
2007-02-05 03:01 pm

Three Month Catch-Up

OK... so wow... I haven't posted (or read) LJ since mid December... and that was just to grumble about the fact that Winterfest was no-more. So really, I've been out of the loop for almost three months now...
Work has been so busy for me since November... and being that the only time I really read/update LJ is during work hours: hence why I've been out of touch... Here's a quick recap of the last three months:

Work: very busy times... creating huge updates / redesigns to my web time/project tracking system... no time to breath really...
We moved to a new building in mid-December. The new place is really nice. Commute increased from 1-mile/5-minutes to 7-miles/20-minutes. *sigh* Oh well... It was "rough" at first... but totally used to it now and seriously, it's nothing to grumble about.

Thanksgiving was nice... my sister hosted and Barry and I helped with cooking and all.

Holiday Party with [livejournal.com profile] labelsdc at the start of December was fun.

Got our new living room furniture... HUGE set, but really nice.

Got a real Xmas tree on Dec 9th... Was so nice to go "tree hunting" at the farm and actually saw the tree down myself. Marea and Chris joined me and housemates Ken & Don for the hunt. Marea and Chris also got their tree. It was nice... only thing that would have made it better would have been some snow on the ground and Barry to be there with us.
(Pictures of tree and living room to follow shortly.)

That night, had a good time at Bill & Jerry's annual wine-tasting party. Got snookered. :)

Annual tree-trimming party at Brian's was fun... drink a beer and hang it on the tree. What a great concept... my only concern is: after a few weeks, does the tree start to smell of rotten beer?

Got to visit campground on the 16th... weren't going to do any parties that night, but then decided at last minute to stay at hotel with Ken & Don and go to Pat's Holiday Party. Was fun... drank a lot... The next morning, our drive home wasn't so "fun"... but we made it and recovered over the next two days. :)

Christmas gift shopping went rather well... Barry and I got out several nights and managed to get everything we wanted to get. Spent one evening at Tara's getting some pearls for several of the girls on our lists (family/friends). (I helped her with her website... check it out: Perennial Designs Jewelry.)

Fantasy Football: I lost... darn... so close though... I was doing well, then really bad... then I started to do better... but it was too late... *sigh* Oh well... at least the dinner and cooking part was all done on one night and was rather fun... Todd's new house was really nice and got to play "Wii" as well, which was interesting/fun.

Christmas was very nice... I went to my traditional dinner at Grandmother N's house. That was nice to do... Barry didn't go, as we still aren't technically "out" with that side of the family yet... but I have a feeling that won't be the case for much longer... Barry's been included on my parent's xmas-card-letter for the last two years. And was in the picture they sent to all the family too this year. :) Christmas morning was at my sister's house... she being pregnant (due in March), she didn't want to travel, so all of the family (including my brother) came to her. It was such a nice day: three hours of present opening -- we take turns and really cherish each gift. Took a breakfast intermission to eat "Cheese Strata" that Barry and I made (YUM, new tradition?)... I spent the most of the day putting together my nephew's "Kenex Roller Coaster" -- It was like a big puzzle or like playing with an erector set or legos... FUN!
(Speaking of Christmas Card Letters: Once again I did not send any cards this year... I'm such a slacker... this is the second year in a row without sending any letters... *grrr* I'm so mad at myself... and yet, have I done anything to correct the situation? no... *sigh*)

New Years: Barry and I went to spend the weekend with Frank & David (our neighbors at The Woods). It was such a fun weekend. They hosted us in their beautiful house in NJ. They drove us into New York on Saturday evening... we drove around in their convertible (through China Town and Little Italy, top-down, freezing weather, bundled-up in blankets and earmuffs, playing loud music, people looking at us like we were a bunch of fags out on the town... which we totally were... it was so much fun!)... then we walked around the village and had some drinks... the two of them are very familiar with the gay bars and places to go/see in the city, so I felt very comfortable and it was SO NICE to be in the city again. (Oh how I've missed the city...) We went to see "Drowsy Chaperone" on Broadway and had front-row mezz seats... it was AWESOME! Then went back to the village to hang out and drink until wee-hours of the morning... and flirt with a bunch of cuties...
Sunday (New Years Eve), we slept in and then helped them prepare for their dinner party that night... they hosted a "murder mystery" party. I was "Mary Kay Eternity" -- in drag, I was the wife of Barry (who played "Jim Bob Eternity") -- we were a TV-evangelist-couple from the south (think Tammy Fae Baker)... very fun... wonderful dinner and lots of champagne...
The following day we recovered from our hangovers and just lounged around.
(Pictures of this also to follow soon...)

January was pretty uneventful... just lots of work, rolling out my system changes to the department, including training all 140 associates in the enhancements.

Barry and I got an SUV (replacing his car) on Jan 24... We got a Toyota FJ Cruiser. It's SO awesome... We totally love it. 4WD and high-clearance... it's going to be so cool to have for the summer going up to camp... and for the winter snow... and just in general it's so cool... :)

Last week (Jan 27 - Feb 3), Barry and I went to Breckenridge, Colorado with a big skiing group. Being that I've always wanted to go skiing out-West... when Matt and Tara suggested that we go with this group that they have gone with a couple times in the past, I jumped at the chance. Barry was looking forward to just getting-away for the week even though he doesn't ski, he figured he could sit in the condo by the fire and relax. It was a great week away from things and I got some good skiing in. At first I was disappointed at the conditions, but then we got about a foot of snow on Wednesday and we went to Vail that day... it was the most amazing riding I've ever done (I'm a snowboarder)... That's what I went out-west expecting. It was great. Barry hurt his knee on the first day, which made it difficult for him to enjoy his time, but we managed to go out around the town one day and go out to eat a couple times. He also cooked a big spaghetti dinner for a group of 10 of us the one night. All-in-all it was a fun time. I'm not sure if I would go out-West for skiing again and may just stick to Vermont for my "big snow"... but who knows... perhaps another ski trip is in my future.

Back to work today... and it's actually been a rather slow day... I caught up on my emails, and thankfully nothing pressing or urgent came-up while I was away. Nothing was planned for today so that I could use the day to catch-up... so I actually had some time to post this. YEAH!

One final note: Barry left his job this afternoon... they really dicked him over -- for the last time! I'm so glad he walked... They gave him a bad annual review... and he works SO DAMN hard for them... they had no right to do that. He stood his ground and told them it was unacceptable to get that kind of rating. They really dicked him over about a raise and promotion several months ago... and things have been going so bad for him there since then... and I've told him several times that the stress of that place isn't worth it... But he kept giving them his best and giving them more chances... today was the final straw, and I'm glad he stood his ground... it's the principle of the whole thing... he handed them an immediate resignation and walked out. On one hand, yes, I'm nervous... with only one salary we're going to have to tighten our belts a little and live a bit less extravagantly... but on the other hand, I'm really happy because perhaps it's a blessing in disguise... A chance for him to start new and fresh somewhere and not have this horrible stress that place was giving him. And also... haven't you always wanted to say "take this job and shove it"? Imagine: he actually got to do that today. *cool*

So that's a wrap-up of the last three months... ending on a pretty big note...
Over the next couple days I'll catch-up on some of my LJ friend's journals... so don't be surprised if you get a response to a post from months ago. :)
*hugs everyone*
savage25: (Bite Me)
2006-12-14 01:28 pm
Entry tags:

Life happens... Work happens... S* happens...

Feeling a bit better today... time heals... and so does ranting to your friends. Thanks for listening and commenting. :)

In other news in my life...

Work has been ramping-up and getting very busy for me. End-of-year and there are a lot of changes that we want to make to my program/system here at work. Some major changes for 2007 will really expand my tool and make it more useful and (hopefully) better-liked by the associates. Thing is, a lot is riding on me... I'm really having to take charge of the project and manage what's going on... as well as designing the changes. I'm project manager, designer, programmer, tester, documenter, and trainer all-in-one. *sigh* I like it... but it can get a bit overwhelming at times...

And the personal-life (aka party-aggravation) of the past week isn't helping.