Independance Day Weekend
Jul. 5th, 2006 04:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
savage25*phew* ... What a weekend...
Barry & I took off Friday and Monday which made for a really long weekend -- basically 6 days at camp... I feel so strange being back at work... it was quite a weekend...
Last week and all day Friday and Saturday were totally hectic getting ready for the big show on Saturday evening. Even with so much done ahead of time this year, we stretched ourselves really far and there was so much to do and so much that honestly fell through. On one hand, stretching our limits technically (and theatrically) was really good because we found out a lot about ourselves, our capabilities, and our limits. We successfully presented a show from start to finish. However, the downside was that the show was not polished... nor did it entertain the audience quite like we had hoped. The audio problems were so bad that a lot of the show was lost to the audience and caused frustrations amid cast and crew that caused some "backstage drama". This backstage drama was even further lengthened by some asshole / idiot who sent an "anonymous" public message to the camp email group bashing on the DJ... what an idiot! This, of course, is causing a cascade of "gay drama" and flame messages... *hands over forehead, bows head, and shakes slowly* Some people are just assholes.
So, my empathetic nature is kicking into full gear and causing all kinds of feelings: disgusted / sad / irritated / embarrassed / anger / apologetic / etc... And my biggest thing right now is just trying to get beyond it all. We did an awesome job... we learned a lot... next show is going to be fine and fun... I just hope that people don't see as much of this crap as I do... and that the audience still comes to the next show. Which, honestly, is funny because of course people will still come. I guess I feel like I let a lot of people down... that's probably the root of my feelings... and I don't know how to get past that...
Hey, another good point though is that at least we don't have the pressure of "having to have to live-up to the last show" and trying to surpass it... *phew* at least that pressure is gone. LOL! *sigh*
So... OK, yeah, that was a lot of drama and is really affecting me today (still getting follow-up drama emails through the email groups, which I SHOULD just skip and not read, but my nature can't let me do that as I just HAVE to know what's being said)... BUT... The rest of the weekend was very fun and full of good stuff...
Barry and I hosted two friends, Chuck and Jay, for the weekend. It was nice having company and they really enjoyed the campground. We also hosted a lot of gatherings at our campsite and provided a lot of booze and food. It was a lot of fun hanging out with Kevin![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
labelsdc and working with him in the show... and taking pictures... Apparently I got quite intoxicated Sunday night... hmmm... me? drunk?... no... oh, you have pictures of me using my shirt as a napkin? and no utensils? oh... yeah... me, drunk! *blush* But, hey, at least I remember the fireworks... they were really nice.
Monday was much more quiet... I finally got to sit out in the pool and sun for a while, which was nice. More drinking and eating and such...
It rained a couple times, but thankfully never affected the show or other activities... And it was HOT... but being out in the woods, the heat wasn't too bad.
The part where the heat WAS bad was when we eventually came home last night. The heat-pump at the condo is just NOT keeping-up with the weather... and I'm beginning to think it may be more than just not being able to keep-up... I'm thinking it may be broken. Well, the repairman is coming tomorrow... I'm sick of being so hot in the house... hopefully he'll be able to do something.
I was able to do my "traditional" July 4th of wine and fruit salad on the front-lawn while watching the Bethlehem fireworks. Which were nice... and the wine was lovely... and having Barry with me was nice...
but the strawberries were rotten... and that was just sad... why is it all these little things keep adding-up and it seems like all I can focus on is how things just don't seem to be working-out right for me lately... how everything is flawed lately... and it's making me feel just worse and worse and finding more flaws in things... and I feel a cascading spiral of depression descending upon me... and I want to stop it, but I can't. *grrrr* Someone stop the world, I want to get off...
So that's about it... theater, drama, fun, drinking, eating, sweating, swimming, insecurity, depression... that about sums it up.
God that sounded worse than I really think it is... feels good to let it out I guess...
Barry & I took off Friday and Monday which made for a really long weekend -- basically 6 days at camp... I feel so strange being back at work... it was quite a weekend...
Last week and all day Friday and Saturday were totally hectic getting ready for the big show on Saturday evening. Even with so much done ahead of time this year, we stretched ourselves really far and there was so much to do and so much that honestly fell through. On one hand, stretching our limits technically (and theatrically) was really good because we found out a lot about ourselves, our capabilities, and our limits. We successfully presented a show from start to finish. However, the downside was that the show was not polished... nor did it entertain the audience quite like we had hoped. The audio problems were so bad that a lot of the show was lost to the audience and caused frustrations amid cast and crew that caused some "backstage drama". This backstage drama was even further lengthened by some asshole / idiot who sent an "anonymous" public message to the camp email group bashing on the DJ... what an idiot! This, of course, is causing a cascade of "gay drama" and flame messages... *hands over forehead, bows head, and shakes slowly* Some people are just assholes.
So, my empathetic nature is kicking into full gear and causing all kinds of feelings: disgusted / sad / irritated / embarrassed / anger / apologetic / etc... And my biggest thing right now is just trying to get beyond it all. We did an awesome job... we learned a lot... next show is going to be fine and fun... I just hope that people don't see as much of this crap as I do... and that the audience still comes to the next show. Which, honestly, is funny because of course people will still come. I guess I feel like I let a lot of people down... that's probably the root of my feelings... and I don't know how to get past that...
Hey, another good point though is that at least we don't have the pressure of "having to have to live-up to the last show" and trying to surpass it... *phew* at least that pressure is gone. LOL! *sigh*
So... OK, yeah, that was a lot of drama and is really affecting me today (still getting follow-up drama emails through the email groups, which I SHOULD just skip and not read, but my nature can't let me do that as I just HAVE to know what's being said)... BUT... The rest of the weekend was very fun and full of good stuff...
Barry and I hosted two friends, Chuck and Jay, for the weekend. It was nice having company and they really enjoyed the campground. We also hosted a lot of gatherings at our campsite and provided a lot of booze and food. It was a lot of fun hanging out with Kevin
labelsdc and working with him in the show... and taking pictures... Apparently I got quite intoxicated Sunday night... hmmm... me? drunk?... no... oh, you have pictures of me using my shirt as a napkin? and no utensils? oh... yeah... me, drunk! *blush* But, hey, at least I remember the fireworks... they were really nice.Monday was much more quiet... I finally got to sit out in the pool and sun for a while, which was nice. More drinking and eating and such...
It rained a couple times, but thankfully never affected the show or other activities... And it was HOT... but being out in the woods, the heat wasn't too bad.
The part where the heat WAS bad was when we eventually came home last night. The heat-pump at the condo is just NOT keeping-up with the weather... and I'm beginning to think it may be more than just not being able to keep-up... I'm thinking it may be broken. Well, the repairman is coming tomorrow... I'm sick of being so hot in the house... hopefully he'll be able to do something.
I was able to do my "traditional" July 4th of wine and fruit salad on the front-lawn while watching the Bethlehem fireworks. Which were nice... and the wine was lovely... and having Barry with me was nice...
but the strawberries were rotten... and that was just sad... why is it all these little things keep adding-up and it seems like all I can focus on is how things just don't seem to be working-out right for me lately... how everything is flawed lately... and it's making me feel just worse and worse and finding more flaws in things... and I feel a cascading spiral of depression descending upon me... and I want to stop it, but I can't. *grrrr* Someone stop the world, I want to get off...
So that's about it... theater, drama, fun, drinking, eating, sweating, swimming, insecurity, depression... that about sums it up.
God that sounded worse than I really think it is... feels good to let it out I guess...
