savage25: (Default)
OK... so wow... I haven't posted (or read) LJ since mid December... and that was just to grumble about the fact that Winterfest was no-more. So really, I've been out of the loop for almost three months now...
Work has been so busy for me since November... and being that the only time I really read/update LJ is during work hours: hence why I've been out of touch... Here's a quick recap of the last three months:

Work: very busy times... creating huge updates / redesigns to my web time/project tracking system... no time to breath really...
We moved to a new building in mid-December. The new place is really nice. Commute increased from 1-mile/5-minutes to 7-miles/20-minutes. *sigh* Oh well... It was "rough" at first... but totally used to it now and seriously, it's nothing to grumble about.

Thanksgiving was nice... my sister hosted and Barry and I helped with cooking and all.

Holiday Party with [livejournal.com profile] labelsdc at the start of December was fun.

Got our new living room furniture... HUGE set, but really nice.

Got a real Xmas tree on Dec 9th... Was so nice to go "tree hunting" at the farm and actually saw the tree down myself. Marea and Chris joined me and housemates Ken & Don for the hunt. Marea and Chris also got their tree. It was nice... only thing that would have made it better would have been some snow on the ground and Barry to be there with us.
(Pictures of tree and living room to follow shortly.)

That night, had a good time at Bill & Jerry's annual wine-tasting party. Got snookered. :)

Annual tree-trimming party at Brian's was fun... drink a beer and hang it on the tree. What a great concept... my only concern is: after a few weeks, does the tree start to smell of rotten beer?

Got to visit campground on the 16th... weren't going to do any parties that night, but then decided at last minute to stay at hotel with Ken & Don and go to Pat's Holiday Party. Was fun... drank a lot... The next morning, our drive home wasn't so "fun"... but we made it and recovered over the next two days. :)

Christmas gift shopping went rather well... Barry and I got out several nights and managed to get everything we wanted to get. Spent one evening at Tara's getting some pearls for several of the girls on our lists (family/friends). (I helped her with her website... check it out: Perennial Designs Jewelry.)

Fantasy Football: I lost... darn... so close though... I was doing well, then really bad... then I started to do better... but it was too late... *sigh* Oh well... at least the dinner and cooking part was all done on one night and was rather fun... Todd's new house was really nice and got to play "Wii" as well, which was interesting/fun.

Christmas was very nice... I went to my traditional dinner at Grandmother N's house. That was nice to do... Barry didn't go, as we still aren't technically "out" with that side of the family yet... but I have a feeling that won't be the case for much longer... Barry's been included on my parent's xmas-card-letter for the last two years. And was in the picture they sent to all the family too this year. :) Christmas morning was at my sister's house... she being pregnant (due in March), she didn't want to travel, so all of the family (including my brother) came to her. It was such a nice day: three hours of present opening -- we take turns and really cherish each gift. Took a breakfast intermission to eat "Cheese Strata" that Barry and I made (YUM, new tradition?)... I spent the most of the day putting together my nephew's "Kenex Roller Coaster" -- It was like a big puzzle or like playing with an erector set or legos... FUN!
(Speaking of Christmas Card Letters: Once again I did not send any cards this year... I'm such a slacker... this is the second year in a row without sending any letters... *grrr* I'm so mad at myself... and yet, have I done anything to correct the situation? no... *sigh*)

New Years: Barry and I went to spend the weekend with Frank & David (our neighbors at The Woods). It was such a fun weekend. They hosted us in their beautiful house in NJ. They drove us into New York on Saturday evening... we drove around in their convertible (through China Town and Little Italy, top-down, freezing weather, bundled-up in blankets and earmuffs, playing loud music, people looking at us like we were a bunch of fags out on the town... which we totally were... it was so much fun!)... then we walked around the village and had some drinks... the two of them are very familiar with the gay bars and places to go/see in the city, so I felt very comfortable and it was SO NICE to be in the city again. (Oh how I've missed the city...) We went to see "Drowsy Chaperone" on Broadway and had front-row mezz seats... it was AWESOME! Then went back to the village to hang out and drink until wee-hours of the morning... and flirt with a bunch of cuties...
Sunday (New Years Eve), we slept in and then helped them prepare for their dinner party that night... they hosted a "murder mystery" party. I was "Mary Kay Eternity" -- in drag, I was the wife of Barry (who played "Jim Bob Eternity") -- we were a TV-evangelist-couple from the south (think Tammy Fae Baker)... very fun... wonderful dinner and lots of champagne...
The following day we recovered from our hangovers and just lounged around.
(Pictures of this also to follow soon...)

January was pretty uneventful... just lots of work, rolling out my system changes to the department, including training all 140 associates in the enhancements.

Barry and I got an SUV (replacing his car) on Jan 24... We got a Toyota FJ Cruiser. It's SO awesome... We totally love it. 4WD and high-clearance... it's going to be so cool to have for the summer going up to camp... and for the winter snow... and just in general it's so cool... :)

Last week (Jan 27 - Feb 3), Barry and I went to Breckenridge, Colorado with a big skiing group. Being that I've always wanted to go skiing out-West... when Matt and Tara suggested that we go with this group that they have gone with a couple times in the past, I jumped at the chance. Barry was looking forward to just getting-away for the week even though he doesn't ski, he figured he could sit in the condo by the fire and relax. It was a great week away from things and I got some good skiing in. At first I was disappointed at the conditions, but then we got about a foot of snow on Wednesday and we went to Vail that day... it was the most amazing riding I've ever done (I'm a snowboarder)... That's what I went out-west expecting. It was great. Barry hurt his knee on the first day, which made it difficult for him to enjoy his time, but we managed to go out around the town one day and go out to eat a couple times. He also cooked a big spaghetti dinner for a group of 10 of us the one night. All-in-all it was a fun time. I'm not sure if I would go out-West for skiing again and may just stick to Vermont for my "big snow"... but who knows... perhaps another ski trip is in my future.

Back to work today... and it's actually been a rather slow day... I caught up on my emails, and thankfully nothing pressing or urgent came-up while I was away. Nothing was planned for today so that I could use the day to catch-up... so I actually had some time to post this. YEAH!

One final note: Barry left his job this afternoon... they really dicked him over -- for the last time! I'm so glad he walked... They gave him a bad annual review... and he works SO DAMN hard for them... they had no right to do that. He stood his ground and told them it was unacceptable to get that kind of rating. They really dicked him over about a raise and promotion several months ago... and things have been going so bad for him there since then... and I've told him several times that the stress of that place isn't worth it... But he kept giving them his best and giving them more chances... today was the final straw, and I'm glad he stood his ground... it's the principle of the whole thing... he handed them an immediate resignation and walked out. On one hand, yes, I'm nervous... with only one salary we're going to have to tighten our belts a little and live a bit less extravagantly... but on the other hand, I'm really happy because perhaps it's a blessing in disguise... A chance for him to start new and fresh somewhere and not have this horrible stress that place was giving him. And also... haven't you always wanted to say "take this job and shove it"? Imagine: he actually got to do that today. *cool*

So that's a wrap-up of the last three months... ending on a pretty big note...
Over the next couple days I'll catch-up on some of my LJ friend's journals... so don't be surprised if you get a response to a post from months ago. :)
*hugs everyone*
savage25: (Default)
Took off last Thursday and Friday to spend an extra-long weekend with my honey (aka Barry)... Thursday was his 40th birthday... he didn't want to make a big deal over it, and I knew I needed to let him celebrate it how he wanted -- but difficulty was trying to come to the conclusion / decision of what he wanted... Original plans were for a big trip somewhere, which turned into getting an SUV, which turned into nothing... which I wasn't about to have... so it turned into us spending four days together in stress-free relaxation at home. And shopping for TVs... and living room furniture... to make our house more "our home"...

It really was a very nice weekend... and we enjoyed each other's company immensely. Turning 40 for Barry wasn't a major thing -- at least he didn't give an impression as-such... I think he liked it that way... in-fact, I think the fact that no one bothered him or made a big deal out of it was exactly the way he wanted it.
(Please note, that being said, for my 40th [in 6 years], I want huge celebrations and a big trip... At least, that's how I feel now, LOL! We'll see how I feel in 6 years.)

So, we did go shopping and looked at a lot of High-Def TVs... and learned all kinds of things about them... and came to our decision -- and actually ordered it online (Amazon had cheapest price by-far [over $600 cheaper than anywhere else, including brick-and-mortar stores]). So here's Barry's birthday present:
Samsung LNS4692D 46" LCD HDTV
Samsung LNS4692D 46


It's arriving this Friday... OMG I can't wait. (Yes, I admit, his gift is partially mine to enjoy... but seriously, it's for him...)

Also arriving this Friday... our new living room furniture... a large sectional...
Lane South Beach Fabric Sectional
Lane South Beach Fabric Sectional
(No, we aren't getting the exact configuration shown... but it's that product... we're getting the reclining-armed-ends, two reclining-middles, and the two corner wedges.)


We also got new curtains -- with a "Moroccan" style to them (gold and navy blue)... very nice... Living room may be done soon... we just need to put in the wood (pergo) flooring...

OK... so that's the latest home update... Work is going OK... except my boss is still getting on my nerves with his "lack of interest" in my work... and things are starting to build-up here and I've been putting them off (like I always seem to do)... and pretty-soon "D-DAY" is going to arrive and I'm going to be a stressed little puppy...

But with that TV and sectional to come home to... I think I can deal with a little stress. ;)
savage25: (Default)
Barry and I took off Thursday and Friday last week... we decided that because we weren't going to Hershey on Thursday, we'd make a four day weekend out of it. Don't really know if we "should" have taken off... Barry has had so much to do at work and I'm sure taking the two days did not help much for that... but being with Barry for the two days was really nice... He said to me last week, "I don't care what we do, I just want to be with you." That was really sweet... and we did have a very enjoyable time.

I have to say that we "planned" to do a lot more than we actually were able to do... but never-the-less, we did get a lot accomplished and managed not to rush ourselves.

Thursday we spent the day sleeping-in and then went shopping. We went looking for ideas for some statues to place around our campsite and on the new deck... we shopped for a table and chairs for the deck... and we also started looking into ideas for our "water-feature" that we want to create around the tree on our deck. Had massages that evening, and slept in on Friday... Friday, we did our grocery shopping and jetted up to camp... Really enjoyed our day and evening.

Saturday afternoon, my friends Sean & Jen had a big BBQ and pool party at their house in Scranton. We went there and I really had a great time. These are all the people that I just came out to a few days ago. They all basically knew already and all were SO supportive of me. I told Barry, these people are my second family. And seriously, they are... I grew up at Sean's house almost as much as my own house. The kids all have grown so much and don't recognize me... I mean, I haven't seen them in almost three years I think. It really hit me a little hard when this one kid (who's like 11 or 12 now) didn't remember who I was. I've been away from them all for far too long... hiding from them afraid to come out... and there was no reason too. Some of them even grumbled that I should have come out sooner because they missed me. I really look forward to regaining friendships with them... They are all coming down for Musikfest in two weeks... I CAN'T WAIT!

We left the party a little early, but that allowed us to get back to camp before dark and we even threw together some costumes for the "Masquerade Ball" that evening... Barry actually put on a dress!! Too fun! Another friend, Tom, was trying drag for the first time, and with his encouragement, Barry threw on a dress too... and Heidi Ho came out as "Betty Jo Ho, her cousin from Idaho". (I'm hoping for a picture that someone took...)

Barry got wasted... I felt bad for him the next morning... we didn't wake up until 1pm. And therefore missed our opportunity to return some lumber to Homo Depot (by borrowing Joe's truck)... but I think it will all work-out anyway... we're going to keep the big lumber for when we build our guest house next year... not to mention, who knows what else we may build. :)

OK... that's the recap... now it's 1pm on Monday... and I've done basically nothing all day. I've caught-up on LJ postings... and checked my work email... and had lunch... but now I've GOT to get some real work done!
savage25: (Contemplative)
Barry and I drove to Philly after work to meet my brother (Peter Alan) and his wife and two kids for dinner. They are visiting Philly (from Ohio) for four days... and I didn't want their visit to go by (being so close) without getting to see them. It was nice to join them for dinner... and the dinner was very good (BTW)... "White Dog Cafe" -- good food, and all organic and stuff. I'm not a big "organic" person, shall we say, but when presented with such great choices... I'm all-for-it... and it didn't disappoint.

Barry took-off Thursday... so that we could spend it with Peter and his family in Hershey... but when we brought up the suggestion with them, I immediately realized that my suspicions that they really wanted a "family" vacation (with just themselves) was correct... they really wanted to spend the day with just their kids in Hershey... which I completely understand. I remember trips with my family and there weren't aunts and uncles involved in those trips... so I can understand wanting to have some "family time"... I admit that it would have been fun to go to Hershey... and I think Barry was sad to not go... but I think we'll make good use of the day... and perhaps make a four day weekend out of it... :)

Barry was driving like a manic there and back. I have no idea what the heck "speed bug" got into his shorts this evening... all I know is that I got so nervous and pissed at him that I just closed my eyes and leaned-back in the seat and tried hard not to think about cars flipping hood-over-trunk. (And trust me, having seen a car do that in-front of me two years ago, it's a hard image not to have in my head.) Yes... I actually was singing "these are a few of my favorite things" ("snowflakes that stay on your nose and eye lashes, brown paper packages tied up with strings") in my head to try and stay calm.

Once home, we watched some TV... and Barry went to bed... Kim called and was out at the Brew Works... I needed a beer, and being that it may possibly be the last Tuesday Night* that she'd be here in Bethlehem... so, I went out to join her for a few beers. It was really nice, kicking-back and drinking some beers, and shooting-the-bull. :) Very nice. (*We used to have this tradition of going out on Tuesday nights... and closing the bar... it started several years ago on a St Patrick's night... and ever since then, "Tuesday Night" has been special to us.)

Now I'm here... at 3:30am... and watching my music-videos on TV... and updating Live Journal... thinking about how I SHOULD be tired... but I'm not. *sigh*

PS: Two responses to my "coming out" emails earlier... both very positive. *yay!*
savage25: (Contemplative)
I haven't been very "posty"... Don't get me wrong, a lot of things have run through my head lately that I said, "Uuu, I should post that"... but they were generally little things and by the time I got to the computer I'd forgotten all about them.

Been pretty busy at work too, so that's always a hindrance to posting... darn work... jeez! It's not like they pay me or anything. Oh... wait... yes, they do. Doh!

This past weekend at camp we were able to all-but finish the deck on our trailer. It's AWESOME! I have some pictures... but I haven't loaded them off my camera yet... *sigh* coming soon...

It was supposed to be a hot and sunny weekend... Saturday it rained... no, it poured! virtually all day. That really made it difficult to work on the deck -- but we managed to still work on the part under the awning during the rain... and made-up a lot of time on Sunday. We had Chuck and Jay up to help all weekend too and they were a big help. Along with some other friends that stopped by to help out (like Dawn, Helen, Scott, Ken, Don).

It's been so HOT the past couple days... up into three-digits... and high humidity. Thank god for air-conditioning! So hot... but honestly, I'm not complaining. I mean, if it weren't for the sweat pouring off my face, I would be totally fine with it. I hate walking in and being all sweaty in my work clothes... once I'm done with work I could care less about all the heat.

I love having four seasons. (You take the good, you take the bad... You take em both and there you have...)

In other news... Barry is going to see the surgeon today for a consultation on his knee. Hopefully it goes well, and the surgery will be "quick and easy", and he'll be back on his feet in no time. (Literally: back on his feet.) I hate seeing him in so much pain.

I have my appointment today with the therapist... I'm actually a little nervous... I hope it goes OK... For those of you hearing about this for the first time right now, I made an appointment with a counselor... in the recent past I was overwhelmed with feelings of being caged-in and not being able to express myself or figure out what I need to do in my life... and they've been suppressed now for the last month or so... and I feel better... on the surface... but a little voice has been inside me saying "something is not right and you need to work this out or you will never truly be happy again"... So I'm going for some third-party advice on how to handle the stress I'm feeling from work, the relationship, and life in general. I just told Barry last night... I need him to be a partner in my healing... Don't know why it took me so long to tell him... (ashamed, nervous, worried? yes... all of the above I guess.)

For those who already knew, thanks for the support thus-far. I hope we both heal quickly (his knee / my brain)... wish us luck.
savage25: (Drunk Girl)
*phew* ... What a weekend...

Barry & I took off Friday and Monday which made for a really long weekend -- basically 6 days at camp... I feel so strange being back at work... it was quite a weekend...

Cut because it's a bit long and rambling... )

So that's about it... theater, drama, fun, drinking, eating, sweating, swimming, insecurity, depression... that about sums it up.

God that sounded worse than I really think it is... feels good to let it out I guess...
savage25: (Sleep)
Had a good, long weekend at camp. Barry and I both got off work early on Friday... it was nice to start the weekend with a bit less stress (than we would have had if we had to pack after a full day of work).

The weekend was spent mostly with our neighbors (Dawn & Helen)... helping them with their deck, but even-more-so just hanging with them and their dogs.

Sunday was the big "Red Cock-Tail-Dress Party"... Heidi Ho made her first appearance of the season... which was fun. Barry couldn't participate because his knee was really bothering him this weekend. I felt really bad for him, and even more-so when I found out just how bad it really was hurting him. Sunday night (after he had a lot of martini and no food) he let his guard down enough to let me know that he was in major pain. I wish there was something more I could have done to help... I wish he would let me help him more sometimes too... but I guess, in reality, it's not like I can go to the bathroom or smoke for him: he's gonna use his knee no matter what... and he's stubborn enough to do what he wants to do and there's no stopping him. *sigh* I wish I could take the pain so he wouldn't have to have it... (Side note: He saw the doctor this morning... strangely [and thankfully] the pain had mostly gone away today. The doctor can't really diagnose it because it's still swollen, so he gave Barry something to take to reduce the swelling and hopefully in two weeks we'll be able to get a better diagnosis.)

The party was fun... and I had a good time overall this weekend... but it didn't really seem like a vacation... I hate to admit it, but I think part of that is because I had to be sober for the entire weekend. There were only a few times when I really was craving a drink... and I'm not sure if "Heidi Ho" was really herself due to not having a buzz to keep her "giddy"... I don't want to think that I can't relax without alcohol... but there's a bit of a factor here where I think that may be the case. I still have 6 more days of this medicine... and 8 days until I can have a beer... I never really craved beer too much, but knowing that I CANNOT have one is driving me crazy... and I SO want a beer. *sigh*

Barry said the same thing about the weekend (that it didn't really feel like a vacation)... so perhaps it's not just because I was sober... although with his knee, he wasn't able to really enjoy himself either. I think a nice weekend for just the two-of-us is needed soon... camp is great, but it doesn't really let us be with each other -- there's too many other people there to that need socializing-with.

OK... well... nothing much else to report. I have a bunch of pictures from the party... I'm glad I took my camera... [subtext: lugged my heavy-ass-camera]... Hopefully will get those posted in the next day or two. Other than that... just work and trying to "catch-up" at home and relax are on my calendar for the next three days.
savage25: (Resting)
Trip to Florida last week was interesting...

Barry and I spent a good three days in Disney... got to tour MGM on our first night... Had dinner and rode the rides we really wanted to see. It was a nice evening and the Port Orleans resort we stayed at was just beautiful. Monday we spent the day fighting crowds at Magic Kingdom. Wouldn't have been so bad if we had taken a break in the middle of the day... but kept putting-off the break until it was too late and Barry was exhausted. We managed to recover and go back to the park in the evening... I did well "holding back" and remembering to not try and do everything. Barry didn't like the crowds, but seemed to enjoy that I was enjoying the place. Tuesday, we went to Epcot... and managed to see several things before we got run-down and couldn't walk much anymore. Had a good dinner at Rose & Crown and had amazing seats to see the fireworks from our table.

That evening, I awoke with stomach pain... felt awful... I just wanted everything out of me (puke, crap, etc)... and I just couldn't feel any better... up every half-hour or so... no sleep... felt terrible... Thought it was indigestion or hangover... but it felt "different"... something about it made me uneasy... It wasn't normal feeling of upset-stomach... it didn't move at all... it didn't go away after puking... Wednesday was the day we were checking out of Disney and meeting my family at Universal. Guess that all worked out for the best because didn't miss out on Disney... and figured I could recover in time for Universal... but...

Tried feebly to eat something for dinner... my mom said something's wrong and did some basic symptom-finding on me... and said "Appendicitis, we're going to the hospital NOW." OMG... Me? sick? hospital? I'm actually going to a hospital?

We sat in the ER waiting area from 8:30pm until midnight... waiting... my mom said I didn't give them a high-enough pain level... frigg'n kidding me, right? No... if you are ever in the hospital... and they ask you a pain level on scale of 1 to 10... say 8... no matter what, even if it doesn't really hurt.

I got poked and prodded and stabbed with needles more in that evening than I have ever in my whole life combined. KNEW I would hate getting an IV line put in... and I was right... they had to try 5 times before they got one to stay. I went into surgery around 7am on Thursday... So the 12 hours was spent in a ER room, getting drugs, and fading in-and-out of sleep.

Surgery was laparoscopic, so that went very well. But coming out of the anesthesia, I took-in some liquid or something into my lungs, and almost didn't make it... wheezing and coughing for hours... so the doctors were really upset with this and thought I had pneumonia or something... and kept me 2 days to watch my breathing and all. Spent two days in the hospital... looking forward to each little step forward that I took... like the first time I stood-up, the first time I pee'd into a toilet, the first time I ate jello, the first time I ate real food, the removal of my IV lines, the disconnection of my oxygen line, etc. Saturday afternoon, the doctor finally released me.

There, by my side, throughout the whole thing, was Barry and my parents. My mom double-checked the doctors and nurses and made me feel like I was in good hands. Barry spent the days with me... entertaining me... keeping my spirits up... holding my hand... eating by my side... *choking-up* I don't know what I would have done without him there with me. Seriously...

So after the hospital, I FINALLY got to spend a little time with my whole family: brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, sister, brother-in-law, mom, dad, & Barry... we had a nice dinner and they got me an electric scooter so I could ride along with them to Universal Studios for the evening. Got to see three of the rides there and a parade. Not the Universal I expected to see for the trip, but at least something.

Flight home went OK. Working from home yesterday and today... taking it easy. Still not 100%... stomach is tight and a little pain... general discomfort and such... and on top of the physical recovery... there's a lot of emotional recovery that I find myself going through too. Really mixed feelings... feelings of insecurity, vulnerability, helplessness, etc... I don't know how to put a finger on it... For example: I feel like I ruined the vacation for my family... even though logically I know it wasn't anything I could control. Don't get me wrong... I'm happy to be alive... very happy... so the fear/upset feelings are mixed with the happy/comfort feelings... leading to a very mixed, uncomfortable state of mind.

So... I left a little piece of me in Florida... a little, useless, terrible, infected appendix. May it rot in a Florida medical-waste site forever.
savage25: (Work)
OK... so I have a ton of work to do... and zero initiative to do it...
I want out of here... TGIF

Went to lunch with a co-worker/friend... had two martini's... enjoyed the conversation... So don't want to be back at my desk (with a pile of work looming over my head)... It's end-of-month day for me, so tons of people complaining and asking questions... ick.



Last night Barry and I went RV shopping and we found our new trailer...
Terry Quantum 295RTLS (Fifth Wheeler)... Here's a link I found with pictures of the same trailer (this is not "ours" but the same thing and same color scheme): LINK
Terry Quantum 295RTLS Left Terry Quantum 295RTLS Right


And I just got the call from the RV dealership that we've been approved for the loan and they're going to start getting it ready for us! WOW! (When I asked what down-payment was required, he said "None! With the good deal you got on the trailer and your stellar credit, you can get anything you want and you got the lowest interest rate going on RVs right now (7.99%)." Whoo hoo! Yay for good credit!)

And, we also decided that we are going to dismantle the porch on the site rather than try to move it. We'll build (or buy) a "guest house" later-on in the summer. That's actually a HUGE load off my mind...

So excited to get the new RV... Yay!
savage25: (Christmas)
Christmas Eve was spent wrapping gifts all day... Barry worked on putting the Bowflex together. (or "Blowfex" as we call it now because of how hard it was to put together. I could hear cursing and banging coming from the room... so I stayed far out of Barry's way while he worked on it.) I ran and did a tiny bit of last-minute shopping too... but not much.

Christmas Eve evening we went to Barry's mom's house for a gathering there. Ken and Don went with us... met some more of Barry's family (aunts/uncles) that I had never met before and everyone ate, drank, and was merry. It was very nice... she had a big buffet spread of all kinds of foods and we drank and played liar's dice late into the evening. I even got a gift from his mom... I didn't expect anything... it was very sweet of her. It was a very different "Christmas Eve" dinner than I'm used too... I grew up with a traditional Polish / Catholic dinner at Grandmom's (no meat: fish, potatoes, & pierogies) followed by midnight mass. Quite different, eh? LOL!

After we all had plenty of Christmas "cheer" (aka Barry was in no shape to drive), Ken, Don, Barry, and I went to Diamonz on our way home to toast to Christmas. We got there at 11:55 and they closed at Midnight... luckily Barry knew the bartender and sweet-talked him into letting us get one round. (I tipped him well... :) Then we came home and all exchanged gifts. It was fun... unwrapped each other too -- a little teasing / flirting going on -- nothing "happened", just fun. Finally all passed out into bed around 2 or so. (New icon is from a picture we took that night... "me as drunk santa" I think I'll call it.)

Christmas morning I awoke at 7:30ish eager to get to my sister's to open presents. Barry wasn't moving though and was grumpy... I tried to be very gentle (figuring he had a hangover) but he wouldn't budge. I was afraid Christmas was going to be cancelled... but he finally started moving when my sister called at 8:45 to see where we were. We finally made it over at about 10:30... my poor sister and mom -- I'm sure it was just eating them up that they had to wait so long to open gifts. *giggle* *sigh*

Gift exchange with my family was great -- lots and lots of presents all around. We have a tradition of going around one gift at a time, youngest to oldest. It takes a lot of time, but lets everyone enjoy the gifts. I don't remember all the gifts... the first few that come to mind: a power-hand-sander, omaha steaks, phaltzgraff dishes, and madonna's new CD. I think Barry was a little shocked at how many gifts he had... I had warned him that my mom and dad make sure that everyone has an equal amount of gifts (so no one gets jealous). :)

After the gift exchange, we sat around and played with our new toys... including setting up my mom's portable printer that we got her. Then we watched a movie and almost fell asleep on the couch when Chris' parents arrived and there was another round of gifts, then my Aunt Maureen arrived and there was another round of gifts. Then we all ate huge dinner of lasagna, ham, mac-and-cheese, potatoes, etc. Yum! Followed by desert. Barry and I barely were able to roll out the door after all that... but managed to make our way home to collapse.

Quite a holiday it was! And although the major holiday stuff is over, there still seems to be a lot to do -- mainly getting the house ready now that we will be able to concentrate on it. Monday, Barry spent the entire day with the Blowfex and almost got it all together. I went shopping with Ken to find a "pantry" for our kitchen so that Barry and I can get food... we also got some shelves for the closet and other things for the house... I think that within the next two weeks we are really going to be able to concentrate on getting this house "unpacked"... Which we really need to do, since the 14th is the big party. A quick glance at the calendar shows nothing for the next two weeks -- so that's a good thing... Barry and I need to calm down a bit and really spend some time on "us".

This morning, Chubby arrived and started work on the basement bathroom. He's down there now banging and sawing away. I can't wait for that to be done... Don't know what we're going to do with all the stuff in the house... but things are getting there slowly. It'll be great once the bathroom is finished so we have one less thing to worry about... at least we don't have to actually do any "work" to build the bathroom.

Moving...

Oct. 25th, 2005 06:46 pm
savage25: (Bethlehem)
Don't have time to explain too detailed... but wanted it posted: Barry and I are moving... it's official... Dec 31st is our last day here... we're moving back to my condo... Lee is out (as of Nov 1), Ken & Don are moving downstairs... Barry and I are moving in upstairs... I'm nervous about the whole thing ("change is good, change is good" is the mantra to have, right?)... I feel odd about how we broke our lease... I feel uneasy about the move... I wonder about the new living arrangements... I want permanence... I want a home... not a temporary dwelling... My intentions are that we are moving into the condo for the long-haul... no more temporary living... no more boxes left unpacked... no more renting... no more pussy-footing-around... At least that's how I feel now... I'm glad about the renewed energy, even if it is nervous energy. I want to paint and repair and update everything... I don't want anything to look the same as it did when I lived there. Nothing. I want to spend the money we would have spent in rent on making the condo "home"... "our home"...
savage25: (Default)
Barry and I finished off a nice relaxing weekend... we took Monday off of work so that we could relax. Well... OK... so we really took it off so that we could fix the roof of the porch at camp, but because of the rain, we decided against it (again) and just made it into a relaxing weekend. Sunday was quiet up at camp... it's so different up there on a non-weekend... so much quieter.

Barry and I spent some time Monday morning surfing the web at camp using the Dell... (YAY!) and made our plans for our trip to Arizona... we decided to not attempt a side trip to San Diego (sorry [livejournal.com profile] jkusters) because it would just take too long and be too frustrating trying to cram too much into one week. So we're going to do Grand Canyon Sunday evening (watch sunset), and the Petrified Forest Monday, and spend the rest of the week in Phoenix doing little day trips or just around town. We found a clothing-optional gay resort in Phoenix (The Arizona Royal Villa)... which looks like it should be nice and convenient to downtown... but we're also looking forward to hearing from [livejournal.com profile] thepup to get his opinion. Can't believe the trip is less than a month away already! I booked most of our hotels this afternoon.

Monday afternoon, we headed home and showered and then went down to IKEA. I wanted to go to IKEA to use a gift-card that I had gotten for my birthday and they were having a sale on sheets for $39... Unfortunately the king sheets were all sold out (except for white, blech)... but we found other ways of spending my money. Like candles and mugs for camp and floor-mats for our office chairs. We spent several hours in IKEA... it was such fun -- looking at all the different furniture and ideas for setting up a kitchen and house... we bounced a lot of ideas of each other and started to see how our decorating ideas can mesh.

Today I'm working from home... kinda just came out that way even though I hadn't planned too. I really have to admit that it's nice to be able to work here and be able to get some household chores done on my "non-smoker smoke breaks"... at work I would just surf or walk around the office... here I'm productive even when I'm not working. (OK... so I still update LJ too... lol)
savage25: (Default)
Thousands of dollars later, and we have a dining room with 6 (of 7) huge boxes in it... and a 50 page book of Bowflex assembly instructions... Oh what fun... and it's 6 of 7 because one of them didn't make it yet... "opened in transit" which delayed its arrival... so I'm working at home again this morning until UPS gets here again today. Hopefully soon, as I kind of miss the office and feel like I should be there.

I had to fast last night for blood-work... I had to go to the doctor this morning at 9am to give some blood (cholesterol and HIV test)... fasting for just overnight and I was feeling all "OMG I have to eat"... I stopped at McD's right after the blood letting... partially a reward for myself at fasting for 12 hours... partially a reward for the "agony" of the blood letting... Needless to say, I guess perhaps I don't have the personal strength to fast (or diet even) for a day like I thought I did.

I'm planning to go to First Thursday tonight. I'm not planning to stay late (probably just 7 to 9 or so)...
Barry is going out with a friend... I'm kind of sad that he didn't invite me along with them. (Jealous? OK, maybe I guess a little, but not excessively, it's more that he's going without even thinking of inviting me, which makes me wonder if he's covering something, which is totally unwarranted, so I know it's just "normal" feelings of insecurity I guess).

Friday, Barry and I are planning a trip to IKEA. Well, OK, so it's my idea and plans... even if it is to get him sheets (heard a commercial that they have a linen sale this weekend: 400-thread-count Queen/King for $40)... but I also just want to do IKEA as it has been ages. Saturday we are going to help Robyn move... then we both took Monday off so that we could stay at camp Sunday and Monday to repair the roof of the porch (which has been leaking and rotting all summer).

Can't frigg'n wait to get into the office and get my Dell too! Poor thing has been sitting there unopened all day yesterday and last night. I guess I do have more strength than I thought because I've been able to keep myself from going into the office and getting it so that I could be here for the Bowflex arrival. Good god will UPS get here already!!
savage25: (Default)
Yay! So I went to the doctor today... finally... and my fears are all gone... It's all just allergies, including the crazy, itchy rash that's been on my arms and legs and stomach... he said it's all just allergies! I don't have scabies or poison ivy or chicken pox or anything crazy like all that... *phew* I'm going to take Allegra and I'm going to start taking them in April until June, and August until frost... and hopefully I will never endure frigg'n allergy related illness anymore! *fingers crossed*

I also got my (overdue) tetanus shot and will be getting my cholesterol checked on Thursday (*EEK* blood being taken!)... but other good news: my blood pressure was normal! Holy freak that's great news considering that 4-years ago the doctor wanted to put me on meds to lower it.

Well... that was a load off my mind... and I actually feel a lot better now about about me and my health and about everything... I treated myself to a Rita's Gelati on my way back into work.

Another thing that's making me feel better is that I feel like the pieces of the puzzle of my life are falling into place... Things are looking up... It's about damn time I had a little up swing in my mood and life... It's funny how good mood begets good mood.

Barry and I went out last night to go grocery shopping and then out to a bar to meet some friends for an impromptu gathering. It was nice... and it made me feel good that Barry went with me... and I wouldn't have gone without him... we're still working on some issues (begun at the drunken debauchery two weeks ago) that I feel are finally working out. But more importantly, it all just felt comfortable... and it was good to see friends.

Other excitement on the horizon... the Dell Laptop and the Bowflex are both scheduled to arrive tomorrow!! EEKK!! YAY!! Only thing is... I have the Dell coming to work so that I don't have to worry about signing for it, but the Bowflex is going to the house (because it's around 425lbs in 7 boxes!) so I'll need to be at home to sign for it... looks like working from home until it arrives, then into the office to get the Dell... *jumps around the cubical like a little school girl*
savage25: (Sleep)
I slept in until almost noon...

Watched TV...

Went to BJ's for supplies with Barry... $216 later, we walk out with a trunk-load of food and stuff. BJ's is dangerous... it's "oh yeah, we could use that and that and that" and it's all at a "good price"... just all those good prices add up quick when your cart is full. Oh well... it is all good stuff... we didn't even buy anything extravagant. (Speaking of which... in addition to the Dell Laptop I bought last week, I also bought Barry and I a Bowflex... one of the Ultimate 2 models [top-of-the-line]... so I think I'm done with "extravagant" purchases for a little while.)

After BJ's we came home and watched TV... and I started to unpack some more... I'm getting on a little anxious kick where I'm getting annoyed at the fact that we STILL have a garage full of boxes after we've lived here for almost 6 months. So I figure I should run with it while I have the unpacking bug.

Now I can't sleep... Barry starts a new schedule tomorrow... 9:30-6:00... he did it so that our schedules would be more in-line with each other (we could wake up together and sleep together)... so we went to bed together at about 11:30... but I couldn't sleep. Possibly because I slept in so late... but also just because I have too much on my mind. I finished the "Condo Certificate of Resale" for one of the unit owners in my condo association that is selling their place. Now I'm just sitting here in front my PC twiddling my thumbs... not able to sleep... it really kind of sucks.

There's a lot of things on my mind... it's not a good thing... and it's making me lose sleep...
savage25: (Contemplative)
Barry and I went out for dinner at the Colonial House. Had a good dinner... and several beers... and played some MegaTouch...
Got home around 10pm... and I wasn't tired... I'm still not tired... it's midnight...

I've actually been working for the last two hours... Yes... actual work... I mean, OK, so I'm geekily impressed with myself for something that I did today at work (created the basis for a method to import tab-delimited text into the database via a web user interface)... I created it really quick too, like in just a few hours at the end of the day. Well, it's not perfect yet, and so that's what I was playing with for about an hour or so. I noticed while I was testing and playing with it that my server was running really slow... so I started to investigate and found that the server had a runaway process on it. (I think I caused it earlier in the day by possibly creating a continuous-loop in one of my test pages... oops) Well, anyway, so the nightly reports weren't running. So I rebooted the computer and kicked off the reports again. I'm really glad / lucky that I found that tonight... because if the users found it on Monday morning, I would have had some ugly messages for me to start my week.

I'm still not tired at all... I don't want to be up all night doing nothing... but I also don't really feel like going to bed... but I don't want to do anything... it's a weird feeling...

I don't feel settled in my life... it's a weird feeling...

My allergies / cold / poison ivy (which is what I think these itchy dots are all over my body, either that or chicken pox -- which they can't be because I had them already and they really don't fit the description)... anyway... I don't feel healthy really... for the past two months or so? I'm looking forward to my doctor appointment on Tuesday. (Yes, I actually made an appointment this past Tuesday.)

Everything is just a little weird... off-balance... fighting between two sides but the sides aren't defined...

This is a late-night-stream-of-conscious post... but sometimes those are good to get things out of my head so I can rest.

I'm looking forward to finding balance in my life...

Perhaps seeing a medical doctor is not the only doctor I need to see... I don't feel like I can really talk to anyone in my life anymore because everyone is connected to everyone and everyone has feelings about this-and-that and no one is really seeing the whole picture... including myself. I see things the way I want to see them when I see them and the next time I see them they are completely different.

---

After a post like this... it's amazing to think that I just spent two hours doing really technical / geeky stuff.
savage25: (Contemplative)
Originally posted privately, I related some stuff about how great my weekend went... and some really personal stuff between Barry and I. I'm posting this edited recap of the weekend to share with everyone. The rest with Barry is very private right now and hurts too much to admit to anyone else... I will include just a little of it and the outcome (what I meant by my subject line)...

Long weekend recap [public version]... )

I love Barry... I love him more today than I have ever loved another person. I was in love with him before, but I LOVE him now.
savage25: (Contemplative)
I've been a little quiet lately, I know...

So I was just called "Jeff" in the cafeteria by a coworker that I haven't worked with in a while. He said "Hi Jeff" and walked away, then kinda turned and said, "Uh, I mean Paul..." with a little embarrassed giggle. Funny thing is... as I walked away, not particularly caring about the fact that he called me Jeff (because I know what it's like to do that)... rather as I walked away I though to myself, "Yeah, I don't really feel like myself anyway... so I guess it's not odd that he wouldn't know my name... do I even know my name?"

I'm feeling stressed and stretched...

Work has been active -- spent all day yesterday (and better-part of this morning) creating a backup server to run Timekeeper (my software) while the server is taken away for cleaning. There was a fire in the computer lab last week -- a stand-up fan was left on overnight (actually it was left on for months) and it caught fire... luckily the fire didn't spread to anything, but the smoke and soot covered everything in the lab. They have had fire-restoration-cleaners in there all week cleaning and are sending out the hardware in the lab to be cleaned tomorrow & Friday. (Apparently they actually dip the computers in de-ionized water or something like that... sounds crazy to me... but then again, washing a dirty photograph under water sounded crazy to me until I developed my own film and realized that is exactly what is done during the developing process and water won't hurt a photo.) I digress... Anyway... the backup server is all up and running now... yay!

I'm stressed a bit about this weekend too... as it is the big Labor Day Show up at camp. There's some things I should be doing for it, but at the same time, there's not much I can really do... so I feel a bit stressed at thinking about all the work I will need to do once I get up to camp because I can't do it now.

At the top of all worries/stress is... Barry and I need to resolve some issues between us that started Sunday and we still haven't properly worked out. I don't want to discuss the issues with anyone until Barry and I figure out what is going on. I have no desire to share all the intimate details... It's tearing my up inside... I've journaled some private postings to help me lately, which is why I've been quiet with the public postings. I love him very much and hope things work out.
savage25: (Default)
Friday evening Barry and I had a good, long conversation... We're working together to overcome the issues we had last week... Miscommunication can really snowball and become insurmountable, I'm glad we caught it when we did...

Saturday, we went out for brunch and got some fabric to make togas for the big party that night. We made these really cool togas.. white tunics with gold ribbon trim and royal-purple sashes over the top... I was very impressed with them. (Pictures hopefully will come in from some friends at the party...) Party was very nice affair... with loads of people and could tell that Bill & Jerry definitely put a lot of work / planning into it. Don't really remember coming home or going to bed (just bits and pieces)... had a good time.

Sunday, we started the day at the Angels' Champagne Brunch... very nice gathering with yummy bagels, fruit, waffles, and (of course) champagne. After that we came home and watched some movies and caught up on some TV.
savage25: (Default)
OMG, I forgot my wallet today. My wallet has everything (ids, cards, cash, medical insurance, etc). I can't believe I forgot it. And when, pray-tell, did I realize that I had forgotten it? When I was about to check-out in line at the cafeteria. UGH! Thank goodness I have been saving my pocket-change in a tin at my desk... I asked the check-out lady to watch my hoagie while I ran and got my money... returned in a few minutes with $3.75 in a golden-dollar and quarters. At least I had that... minimized my embarrassment. *phew*

BTW, the turkey hoagie is awesome... the $3.71 cost for a hoagie is still by-far the best thing going-on at our cafeteria.



This weekend went well... Bary and I went to visit my friend, Kara, in Connecticut. It was good to see her again. We sat around and chatted and she showed Barry some pictures of me from high-school (*eek*). Saw a community-theatre production of Singing in the Rain, which was cute.

Kara's daughter, Fiona, is adorable. Barry and I got along great with her... Kara said she normally cries with strangers... just shows you how adorable we both must be.

The drive there and back went smoothly.



End-of-month week for Barry which absolutely sucks... he gets so stressed! I hope that it goes better for him this week than in the past couple months. I just hate seeing him so stressed.

Barry and I have such great time together when we are together. Especially when we are away from the stress of the week. Can't wait for Bear Weekend up at camp this weekend.



Had a disturbing dream last night about camp -- long dream, but basically they messed with my stuff and painted my "cabin" [which I don't have so don't know where this dream came from] and I was really, really upset with camp and the management there for doing this without asking me. It was upsetting and I woke up thinking, "Oh thank god that was just a dream. I didn't want to have to kick someone's ass."

Also had a bought of insomnia last night at 3:30am. Ugh, I hate waking up with my mind racing and not being able to sleep. Then, at 5:30, when Barry was getting up and I finally was falling back to sleep... I had to wake up at 8 and I just couldn't get out of bed. ARGH! Why can't my mind go racing at 6am instead of 3am??



At work I'm coming up on a self-imposed deadline that I've been procrastinating working on. I may have a few late nights this week... *sigh* WHY do I do this to myself?

OK... time to go procrastinate some more and check my email and LJ.

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savage25: (Default)
Paul

January 2009

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